lobolance: (Default)
From Rich Hanson's JOT today...

" The frequent discrepancy between the rewards you expected to get from a want, and what it actually feels like to fulfill it. Similarly, notice that the anticipated pain from the things you want to avoid - especially things that would be good for you to open to or go after - is usually worse than the discomfort you actually feel. In effect, your brain is routinely lying to you, promising more pleasure and more pain than you will actually experience. The reason is that the pleasure and pain circuits of the brain are ancient and primitive, and they manipulated our ancestors to do things for their survival by overselling them about apparent opportunities and over-frightening them about apparent risks."

The mix of bringing science into Buddhist (or any other) practice delights me.

And desire is so frigging huge, desire particulary when it's about wanting/avoiding, rather than expressing. As others have been, I've been looking at fear (touch-and-go) a lot lately. It's interesting to add this to the mix. 

I like the JOTs (it's a weekly thing); they often have practical application. He also has a Skillful Means wiki, which is pretty interesting.
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I hadn't really expected these two fields to intersect. Check out the NYT article if you're interested in either. Happy geeking!
lobolance: (not thinking)

What I love about this video, as well as learning lots about depression, is how the science brings together all of different ways people have looked at psychology-related diseases... and finds they all have value; syncretic goodness. This guy (Robert Sapolsky) is an awesome lecturer. ... so many bright folks have depression, O my flist. Yea learning.



lobolance: (not thinking)

Perhaps not light reading. This stuff affects our legal and medical universes. Check the side menu for the articles about paraphilias and such. Lots on kinky this issue.

lobolance: (Default)
When A Parent's 'I Love You' Means 'Do As I Say'

The conclusions of this article (a summary of some new science around kid's behavior and need for therapy later in life), seems entirely obvious to me. Of course kids need unconditional love, and then encouragement and explanation around making good choices. I wonder why it is that as a society, we don't believe that?

Anyhow, I am intrigued also by how these concepts can easily play into self-worth, self-development, Buddha nature, Feri alignment... any psychological or spiritual path you care to name.  

Ghods how I wish I could give this article to my immediate neighbors.
lobolance: (Default)
note to self: watch this again. and likely again...

wow, social-ness made into followable steps. woot. ! I am intrigued by the idea than an initial brief comment, wander away, and wander back... and you're now perceived as a 'friend'. That's usable.



I think I will always find long social engagements with lots of unknown folks somewhat wearing, but it would be great to feel a little more capable when I'm at one. Like if I go to the ACLC meet and greet or contest this weekend....
lobolance: (Default)
so you don't have to worry about when it's going to happen.

Really thought-provoking article about not stressing from Zen Habits.
lobolance: (Default)
Another visit/round of interpretation of the long-term study of a group of Harvard graduates.
As a person approaching 50, this has a whole lot of value... though I bet it offers hope for people of any age.

lobolance: (Default)

For a very long time, I've been really uncomfortable with the word 'tranny'. I've had a hard time articulating why. Here's an article that does so brilliantly: http://www.bilerico.com/2008/09/is_tranny_offensive.php 

Basically, the word is equivalent to 'she-male'. That captures it exactly. And that heritage also explains why when I hear a number of young trans guys (meaning, not long in trans community and/or young in number of years lived) using the word to describe themselves ("I'm a cranky tranny today") or others, I cringe. They don't have any experience of the word before the last five years, so they don't share the connotations. I on the other hand do recall seeing/hearing that word used to describe trans women in non-complementary (and generally dehumanizing) ways.

And yet it's also not quite that simple. For those who don't have the historical connection, it's just an easy-to-use word that gets a lot of information across; and a main piece of what it gets across is that the speaker (as in the guy speaking above) doesn't ID as a cis-gender person; that being trans is part of how they see themselves. And that I certainly can't and wouldn't want to argue with.

If anything, I think the new usage of the word is a useful addition to the transgender post-modern world (or whatever ya wanna call it). Yea for ease with and celebration of a trans identity! I am uncertain if it would be a kind/useful/friend thing to bring up the history to these new trans guys.  

Of course, I also think some of us use that word to mean 'not enough'; "I'm just a tranny, and therefore by definition my sexual equipment isn't good enough". It's really tough to deal with that point of view. I'm old enough to still find it in myself. I'm working to see it as "I am more aware of all the options I have! How cool!' instead. But it ain't always easy.

As a final note, there an awful lot of people with trans experience who do not have trans as part of their identity, or for whom it is a very small part. The 'old guard' if you will (LOL).  

Somehow, I never have clean conclusions when I post about trans stuff.

lobolance: (Default)
Worth reading if you're interested in leather/bdsm/fetish/transsexuality/psychology

http://www.bilerico.com/2008/06/fetish_the_other_f_word.php#more

I really appreciated the author talks about the unusually good relationship skills she learned through contact with the leather community, and dives into the use of the word 'fetish' as a way anathematizing topics we don't understand.
lobolance: (Default)

I am intrigued by how these quotes inspire me to think of things besides just "nature". Ecology, by any other name... Happy Earth Day, planet-mates! 

You only need sit still long enough in some attractive spot in the woods that all its inhabitants may exhibit themselves to you by turns.

from the chapter "Brute Neighbours"
in
Walden

Perfect sincerity and transparency make a great part of beauty, as in dewdrops, lakes, and diamonds.
from the Journal (June 20, 1840)

However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names.

from the "Conclusion" to Walden

Soon the ice will melt, and the blackbirds sing along the river which he frequented, as pleasantly as ever. The same everlasting serenity will appear in this face of God, and we will not be sorrowful, if he is not.

from a letter to Lucy Brown dated March 2, 1842, following the death of Thoreau's brother

"A lake is the landscape's most beautiful and expressive feature. It is Earth's eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature." -  The Ponds, Walden

QOTD

Apr. 9th, 2008 10:53 am
lobolance: (Default)
 "Why do we focus so intensely on our problems? What draws us to them?
Why are they so attractive? They have the magnet power of love:
somehow we desire our problems; we are in love with them much as we
want to get rid of them . . . Problems sustain us -- maybe that's why they
don't go away. What would a life be without them? Completely
tranquilized and loveless . . . There is a secret love hiding in each problem
. . . ."

- James Hillman, *The Essential James Hillman: A Blue Fire,* edited
by Thomas Moore
lobolance: (Default)
This is a startlingly accurate accounting of my personality:

http://keirsey.com/handler.aspx?s=keirsey&f=fourtemps&tab=5&c=mastermind

On the one hand, it's very cool to see a big chunk of my 'functionality' handily laid out, and on the other, it's kinda freaky to be that definable (even though I'm part of the smallest 'temperament' group).

I checked out some of the career recommendations. Natural sciences. hmmm, yeah, though a bit late to switch to that one (though this reminds me of my fascination with cognitive science/behavior). ;-) Information technology. Ugh, not in the sense of dealing with computer networks. But information architecture; how people perceive and learn and can USE info, that's right up my alley, kinda what I'm moving into by pursuing usability. I think.


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This is rather interesting.

http://memoriter.net/flash/test.html

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