Feb. 9th, 2009

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I was something of a wreck last week; fallout from visiting the church the week before. The service was a mixed bag for me (at the time I thought I did a good job with it), though the people were cool. So I spent a lot of uncomfortable time last week, dealing with old old Christianity trauma. Thankfully, by Saturday I had worked through things (yea for my Feri and meditation practices among other things, including a good friend too far away), had rewritten my talk three times, and practiced the poem ('Wild Geese' by Mary Oliver) aloud a number of times (which was kinda fun; when was the last time you read a poem aloud?)

It was fun to bicycle (in blazer and khakis! I had considered both leathers and my Kristi coat, but opted for mundanes) to the church on Sunday morning. As I arrived, I was whisked into a side room, to be blessed and given a shout out. Apparenlty I nearly missed it. Nobody had given me a time to be there, so I'd made my best guess. ;-) Anyhow, it was sweet, energizing, and ...different. Found out Reverened Michael had decided he was willing to read the poem, and I was fine with that. It was actually very cool to hear someone else read it; he used a very similar cadence to what I would've done.

A few of my guys (from my FTM group) showed up, which was awesome. We were the guys who didn't go up for communion... though the others all attend another church regularly. It has been interesting to learn how Catholic-influced the structure of MCC is, though far more broad-minded in their approach.

Anyhow, I'd gotten to the point where I wasn't really nervous anymore... untill I went up behind the podium. Then I got nervous again. It showed for a couple minutes, then I settled downn and went on to deliver a pretty decent topic. I covered most of the elements I'd wanted to speak to, and tied things together ok. Yea, it was done! And filmed, should I get brave enough to watch it one day.

Oh yeah, my theme was 'the diversity in our diversity,' where I covered something of the range of transgender/transsexual experience, as I have encountered it. It's been interesting; my first organizing activity was as a kid around the right to wear trousers to school! (twice) Funny to look back and see that connection.

I had some good conversations afterwards, in particular with a pair of cisgender men. An older trans woman spoke about transitioning in the '70s, and thanked me for "airing out" the discrimination in the gay community (only two lines, but important to her).

One (cute, Asian) guy got brave and asked a bit about sex. He figures there's a high demand for FTM bottoms! Which interestingly corresponds to much of what I've read on the FTM lists; the gay boys like using the bonus hole (hard to argue with; it was directly made for intercourse). But the irony is also great, as I personally have had many more encounters with gay guys who practically vomit at the idea of they might maybe perhaps get a glimpse of female-styled genitalia at a party. Didn't I mention my theme of diversity? :-) Space for us all.

That same guy also talked about the (in)famous trans man who has gone on tv, talking about his pregnancies. This young man I was talking with thought that was *wonderful*; he envied the pregnant ma, was so excited at the idea of being able to have a biological family! That was really touching.

It's good to broaden my experience.

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