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why don't we smile or say hello?
Aug. 9th, 2006 03:02 pmIs it simple population pressure?
Think of all the old movies with people walking about... pass in each other on the street, tip o' the hat, and a greeting. Now, unless you are truly in the woods, we pretty much ignore each other.
The smile is a. threat reduction; I am not gonna attack you and b. social; hey there other person!
I walk a trail once or twice every day, and sometimes bicycle. Virtually every time I cross someone else's path, I debate whether to smile or otherwise acknowledge them. It's worse with other men... on seeing a woman, it is somehow more polite to offer a smile; and not be offended if she doesn't respond (I think it's the I'm-not-a-threat thing). With men... mostly we ignore each other; I think it's a power thing; you-are-not-worthy/of-my-tribe.
Except... it's less severe with older men. I theorized other men who were honestly working out (say, when I'm biking at lunch time, and encounter another rider) might be more prone to a wave (as with motorcyclists, tho there we often fall into rice rockets VERSUS cruisers), but this hasn't really proved to be true. Older men are the most likely to smile, regardless of activity. I read it as pure confidence; we-are-not-in-competition-and-hello!
The 'obvious' answer is to smile or not by one's own mood/choice... but I have to admit that receiving the blank stare from men (essentially peers; all techy guys who like exercise) feels icky... threatening my 'status'. SO we circle back to, it's not cool and/or manly to be friendly. That's pretty ridiculous. IMO.
Making others feel comfortable is part of being a gentleman.
So is it just population pressure, there's so many of us on the trail it's no different than a city street, where we ignore each other in order to accomplish anything at all? That's all I can come up with.
--
I get my truck back with a circuit breaker installed on the door locks system! Should take care of my problem, which is great for the Worldcon trip. Huzzah!
Think of all the old movies with people walking about... pass in each other on the street, tip o' the hat, and a greeting. Now, unless you are truly in the woods, we pretty much ignore each other.
The smile is a. threat reduction; I am not gonna attack you and b. social; hey there other person!
I walk a trail once or twice every day, and sometimes bicycle. Virtually every time I cross someone else's path, I debate whether to smile or otherwise acknowledge them. It's worse with other men... on seeing a woman, it is somehow more polite to offer a smile; and not be offended if she doesn't respond (I think it's the I'm-not-a-threat thing). With men... mostly we ignore each other; I think it's a power thing; you-are-not-worthy/of-my-tribe.
Except... it's less severe with older men. I theorized other men who were honestly working out (say, when I'm biking at lunch time, and encounter another rider) might be more prone to a wave (as with motorcyclists, tho there we often fall into rice rockets VERSUS cruisers), but this hasn't really proved to be true. Older men are the most likely to smile, regardless of activity. I read it as pure confidence; we-are-not-in-competition-and-hello!
The 'obvious' answer is to smile or not by one's own mood/choice... but I have to admit that receiving the blank stare from men (essentially peers; all techy guys who like exercise) feels icky... threatening my 'status'. SO we circle back to, it's not cool and/or manly to be friendly. That's pretty ridiculous. IMO.
Making others feel comfortable is part of being a gentleman.
So is it just population pressure, there's so many of us on the trail it's no different than a city street, where we ignore each other in order to accomplish anything at all? That's all I can come up with.
--
I get my truck back with a circuit breaker installed on the door locks system! Should take care of my problem, which is great for the Worldcon trip. Huzzah!
