lobolance | Entries tagged with personal

Apparently my lj did import to dreamwidth, back in April. So here I will try out crossposting. It's funny, g plus has come along in the meanwhile, making this seem less vital.

For those who might recall last week's bomb scare, today there are even MORE firetrucks out there blocking the same end of block, and black smoke coming out of the second story of a tall house. Happy heat wave fighting, o SJ fire fighters! Safety to all.

Someday I have to learn or disable some of the touchpad functions on the netbook. It makes me crazy, I'm constantly typing in the wrong place. My shoulder's tired o; the typing anyhow. ;-)

Crossposts: http://lobolance.livejournal.com/340808.html

Some of my personal Feri work led me to another round of self-work on LGBT stuff in my own life a month or so ago (yea Amethyst Pentacle!). With a focus on 'visibility.' Despite being an organizer and all that, I still had some itchy spots. Probably always will, yadda yadda.

And now I've got the Trans Day of Visibility event coming up, and people are contacting me out of the woodwork! New therapists looking to learn, or to find help for young FTMs. New film makers. A guy who is a legislative assistant asked if he could speak. Not to mention having a couple of drag performances. And more.

Maybe this will be an opportunity for me to learn more myself, perhaps find a segue into some new career paths. Who knows. I feel pretty proud of it all, really, and it hasn't even happened yet.

OTOH, I still have to connect with friends to get the sound system, and relearn how to use it, and order and pick up coffee for that evening, and make a script, and make sure the projector will work, and find all of the film dvds... :-)

Transgender Day of Visibility
Billy DeFrank LGBT Community Center, 938 The Alameda, San Jose
March 31st, 7-9pm

meme-age!

You were born during a Third Quarter moon

This phase occurs in the middle of the moon's waning phases, after the full moon and before the new moon.

- what it says about you -

You like to make up your own mind. You may find it hard to relate to mainstream opinions on issues, and you definitely don't always like what's popular. You can work out solutions and give birth to big ideas when left to yourself, and other people will be impressed with your conclusions even if they're not sure how you arrived at them.

What phase was the moon at on your birthday? Find out at Spacefem.com

have to admit, it's interesting.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): "A man may fulfill the object of his existence
by asking a question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot
achieve," mused 19th-century author Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Advice
that wild could just as well have been dispensed by a feral saint living in a
cave in the woods. And now I'm passing it on to you, Aries, just in time
for the beginning of what may be your wildest year in a decade. In my
astrological opinion, you are ready to be a connoisseur of mysteries that
purify the mind and nurture the soul . . . a daredevil of the spirit in quest
of seemingly impossible dreams . . . a fierce adept of the wisdom of
uncertainty who's in love with unpredictable teachings.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): What confusing commotion would you like to
walk away from and never come back to? What lessons have you learned
so well that you're overdue to graduate from them? What long-term
healing process would you like to finish up so you can finally get started
on the building phase that your healing will give you the power to carry
out? These are excellent questions to ask yourself as you plan your life in
the next six months.

Ups.. there are lots of them, but the biggest one was my birthday party! inflectionpoint organized it for me, at Menara's Moroccan Restaurant. I am afraid to start listing friends here, in case I miss someone! About 36 people showed up, from as far away as Santa Barbara and San Diego, from all of my universes; sf and costumer fandom, leather, work, friends of many years and of only one year. About a third of us dressed up.

We clearly entertained the entire restaurant with our presence. The food and its serving was wonderful; the boys in fezes pouring tea managed to do four glasses in one go. The honeyed lamb was so good even one of the vegetarians tasted it. The belly dancer outdid herself, getting numerous folks to twirl on the floor with her. There is video... I hope to share photos when I get permission to do so. :-)
I am so grateful for all of my fabulous friends!

Downs... adapting to riding every day. In the rain. With a new bulky tank bag. And construction (read gravel) at all four corners of my block. I went down yesterday, from a start to a right turn, gravel on that slippery road. I jumped off, and two guys came over and helped me lift it back up; the handlebars were kinda downhill from the rear of the bike, due to the carved out construction area. On I went to work. I've found my yellow jacket (though not put it on yet, huzzah), my winter gloves, my fleece shirt.

It's interesting... so much of this is psychological. As a friend said, a pleasure has become a workaday necessity. OTOH, things I used to grouse about (putting so much gear on, and then off, keeping extra shoes at work), are now more of a shrug; just stuff I do.

I wrangled another turkey today. In my fifteen minute walk, she made it through the gate and into the parking lot. So I took a minute and carefully shoo'd her out again. Time to start closing the gate behind me. ! I didn't expect a daytime foray.

On the return journey on the trail, I saw an unusual bird on the gray walkway. It was about small robin-sized, but had a whitish head. ! Did a robin get into paint? Very thorough job if so... and as I got closer I saw it was kinda fuzzy. It flew up onto a low branch, and I realized it was a chick. Very likely a hawk chick. Big eye looking at me. After a bit I walked on, and heard the chirps of young 'uns up in the trees (they've been peeping for a few weeks now). I am guessing the baby I saw was the first one out of the nest.

Pretty cool! And a first for me, which is very cool indeed.

I've had these 1000 Mile boots (http://www.wolverine.com/us/1000mile/#/The1000Mile/)for about a week and a half now. I am in love. I wore them four hours the first day, eight the second, and mostly every other day since. And have no blisters.

I have enjoyed baptizing them one way and another. :-)

It's good being back on the bicycle. After a couple months off, those muscles are a little less strong. It's a good tired as I ride again.

Today, I rode towards the reservoir. I stopped for a breather on the return trip; totally admiring the quiet of the scene. The world has been gray for days it feels like. Many varieties of birds were in the water; big white pelican, gulls, bright ducks, all the locals. In winter and spring the landscape here is Irish in feel; green and gray and mild. Looking out, I could totally imagine the stories and myths I might create if I saw this day after day, in silence. But I have moments, with the freeway roar not so distant. Still, stories are possible...

Walking this afternoon, I heard a lot of starlings, those fascinating invaders. They'd taken roost in a tall thin bare tree. I saw a crow perched on top; very photogenic. As I got my iphone out, I noticed the next tree over; equally naked, a few starlings, the tree topper crow, and a *giant* bird of some type on a lower branch. So I took a few pictures of it too. A buzzard? A turkey? Hopefully I can crop in far enough to figure it out.

I turned and walked on, and caught a glimpse in the creek of something... a great gray heron, bigger than most I've seen. It had dark markings and dark legs, like an outline... very cool. As long as I kept moving, she was still. When I turned to get the phone back out, her great wings swooped and away she went, darker gray over the gray waters, behind the gray trees and shrubbery. A marvel. Unfollow-able. Another candidate for stories.

Current Mood: awake

Well it's been some days of basics going boom. Like, yesterday my computer decided to randomly restart over and over, going back in time with restore points. So after much tech support and hardware tests, I wiped the drive and am now in the process of downloading masses of files from mozy. Yea for having mozy.

And before that was the late-breaking news about needing a therapist letter. Got that one in the bag (though the letter won't come for a week or more; timing).

As the capper (I sure hope), my car just massively overheated. All fine, then drive in the driveway, and verily, the sound of water gushing. Open the hood. The sound of water boiling. The temp gauge never got particulary high. Mysterious. See if I can't get it into a shop tomorrow. Know a great cooling system repair shop in San Jose? Hopefully this will stay in the three digits for repair.

Time to do laundry, make a cold supper, make a very cold vodka tonic. Or perhaps margarita... I did make fresh salsa yesterday...

Another day in the neighborhood.

Current Mood: centered

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Maybe you weren't listened to very attentively
as a child. Perhaps you were dressed in clothes you didn't like, hugged
only three times a year, and fed food you were allergic to. I suppose it's
even possible that your parents were psychotic drug dealers who kept
you chained to a radiator in their squalid basement. If that's the case,
Aries, I would understand if you had an urge to devote the next three
decades to bewailing your bitter past and scheming up ways to wreak
revenge on the cruel world. But if you have ever been curious about
whether there might be better ways to allocate your time and energy, I
have good news. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you
now have it in your power to overcome your toughest memories and set
out on a course to become almost as secure as if those bad things had
never happened.

I filled a long sock with rice, then stuck it in the freezer. At bed time, I laid it at the base of my pillow, kinda along the top of my shoulders. It radiated coolness. I think it made enough of a difference that I was able to fall asleep despite the heat. I tried it alongside me in the bed, but that didn't seem nearly as useful as across my shoulders.

Anyone else have a good dealing with the heat tip?

I decided last week to brew some ginger beer. I acquired ale yeast, grabbed Myers lemons off the tree out back, and got the other required bits and pieces.

Somehow, in the brewing, this one project turned into four.

Someone gave me a small handful of backyard apricots. I had plenty of ginger... so I decided to make two 3 qt batches of beer; one with the apricots, one without. The batch with the apricot started fermenting much more quickly than the batch without. Interesting. But both are now working, so I am happy. They smell great. Am keeping my fingers crossed.

I peeled an entire ginger root. Lots more than I needed for two batches of beer (yea for my Magic Bullet, saving so much working by processing the ginger in seconds!). Knew I wouldn't use that much ginger in cooking! Hmmm. I've been known to eat ginger candy... so I sliced the remaining root up, and put it in a small pot with some honey on the stove, and let it cook quite a while (til not translucent any more). The ginger reduced considerably in size, which was interesting. ... so strong, so yummy! It never really crystallized per say, as I'd used (wet) honey rather than (dry) sugar. Still, I now have awesome candied ginger, and about a cup of leftover ginger syrup. Interestingly, the syrup was much stronger (gingery) while hot than after being refrigerated. I'm thinking it would be good over vanilla ice cream, maybe in a cup of tea...

It also seemed obvious that the strong sweet syrup would be a fine addition to the beers. So I put about 1/8 c. of syrup in each batch.

Tonight I will sort out which bottles to bottle in, and clean them. Maybe do a little bottling. Yea for friends who save useful bottles for me!

Current Mood: busy

A co-worker just said (referring to conversation across cubies): "When Lance speaks...it doesn't happen very often.. I always think 'God is that you?'"

ROTFLMAO

can't remember when I last used that abbreviation.

Current Mood: amused

Took my morning walk a little early. Very quiet. On the way back, I spotted a buck, essentially across from the gate to the trail (well down the incline, across the little stream, and on the deer path on the other side). I would guess he was a few years old, looking strong and healthy. Two points on his antlers.

After a couple minutes of standing sideways, watching me, he turned full face (then I could actually verify the number of points). His black nose was shiny as he stood in the sun. Another couple minutes, and he moved away.

I did take a couple iphone pictures, including ones with the new Griffin case lens (supposed to be good for far away as well as up close I believe).

Have a wonderful day all!

This week: I saw the first snake of the year; a thumb-sized, foot and a half long lil native. I saw my first deer of the year; zooming along on my bicycle, two deer were crossing the 'road'. I stopped politely, but they opted to retreat. :-) I've also seen 'my' hawk, and a few others. I saw a pair of kites chase a red shouldered hawk off the highest tree in the area! I wonder how that was possible. Another pair of hawks appear to be nesting on the freeway side of the road; I keep seeing one on a light post as I leave work. Interesting choice. Around here, a few trees are just starting to shed their blossoms, and others are just starting to blossom at all. It really feels like spring has arrived on the calendar date this year.

For myself, change continues. Letting/admitting formerly key parts of my life are formerly. ;) Making space for the new. Looking curiously into the openness, just like the kitten, and yet still solid in my own self.

Motorcycle ride tomorrow! A new choice.

Yesterday I had my first visit to an acupuncturist. ! An out-of-the-blue adventure. I was up in Oakland visiting Abe, who had a regular appointment with said Chinese medicine therapist. So, wot the heck, says I, make me an appointment! And so it was.

Whitney, the acupuncturist, works out of the Oakland Acupuncture Project. The clinic is very cool in its format; it works on something of a community model, with a sliding scale and mostly shared treatment rooms (as they work in China). It's queer friendly.

Whitney was wonderfully matter of fact and relaxed in hir movements and conversation, making no big thing out of the treatment to this newbie. Which was great. I filled out some forms, answered some questions, then was led to a nice lounger, where I rolled up my trouser legs and shirt sleeves. Whitney then placed a number of long skinny needles into my legs, arms, right ear, and head. ! Half way through, the pain in my elbows and right shoulder (which were what I asked treatment for), was gone.

Nearly every one delivered its own sensation. For several, the sensation happened after a few seconds, blooming up one way or another. After that, silence... feeling, floating, breathing. It was kinda wild... heat slowly enveloped my right hand. One ear needle would throb, then another. I had a number of experiences I would call 'releasing'; either unexpected sighs out, sensations that grew and then let go, etc. Really interesting.

Today, I have a little pain in my right elbow, nothing in the shoulder or other elbow. I find that fairly remarkable. I'll do this again.

Yea adventures!

these feel like they're happening...

ARIES (March 21-April 19): What perplexing defeat was inflicted on you
once upon a time -- a defeat that you still can't figure out how to rise
above? What painful memory continues to lurk at the edges of your
awareness, taunting you with its implication that you'll never be whole?
This is the time and this is the place, Aries, to solve a riddle like that so
that you can move on to the next chapter of your life. You will get
unexpected help and inspiration if you make it your intention to heal what
has been hard to heal. Halloween costume suggestion: a doctor or nurse
wearing a sign that says, "Physician, heal thyself."

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You don't have to be anything you don't want
to be, Taurus. Please read that last sentence again, drinking it in as if it
were an elixir you've been longing for since you were 13 years old. Here
are some corollaries: You don't have to live up to anyone's expectations.
There's no need to strive for a kind of perfection that's not very
interesting to you. You don't have to believe in ideas that make you sad
or tormented, and you don't have to feel emotions that others try to
manipulate you into feeling. In short, you are free to be exactly who you
want to be. Celebrate that this Halloween season. Costume yourself as
the person you've been hiding.

Current Mood: intrigued

I was on my bicycle. A very warm day. Rounded a curve and there they were, young, maybe three or four inch spikes! Nifty. Bounding off to my right and into invisibility.

Earlier in the week, I saw a different type of hawk near where I live. Much smaller than the red-shouldereds. I know it's a common type of hawk, but I haven't had time to google it.

Been verra verra busy.

High school reunion a couple weeks ago; I got food poisoning (worst sickness I've had in years-blargh) the day before, and ran out of steam fairly early during the reunion. OTOH, had a really good reconnection with the friend I was staying with (we were high school friends, and went to the same college), which was great. I really liked her family as well; it was great to be that comfortable in such dire straits. ;-)

The universe has seen fit to provide me with a wonderful cumulative personalized riding course since I got the new motorcycle; this workshop, that ride, another workshop, another ride... My skills have distinctly improved. It's exciting.

Last weekend was Leather Levi Weekend. Had a very long ride up; educational, as noted. As well as very hot and very cold and very beautiful; redwoods, gravel, ocean, curvy hills. I was camped with three other folks in the upper meadow; we even had a 'living room'. Where I did some shaving... And nearby shaded camp sites to play in when not in a fisting tent, the pool, or other happy place. I also got asked to lead the flag ceremony, and carry the American flag, which was very cool. Conspired with a club mate to make sure SCCLA colors were presented. Whatever the state of the club, my heart is still attached to it. And to my primary camp mate. Lucky me!

I am feeling very grateful.

Work is crazy busy. I asked for, and got, a little raise. I think I'm a manager now.... And: Kaiser and three times a charm (in the TMI department): I have a date for a full hysterectomy. Not been a real joy getting there, but I'm there!

This weekend is gay rodeo. Yea for getting to drop by a time or two. Thanks

bovil and

kproche!

Current Mood: good

No, I still haven't had time to write up Leather Leadership Conference. But I had a good time, made a new friend, got to know some folks, laughed, and heard a good variety of points of view. I would go again.

in the meanwhile: I kinda like these, so I'm saving 'em as a reminder, at the start of my personal new year

ARIES (March 21-April 19): A reader from Fiji is encouraging me to pay a
visit. "Fiji is heaven on earth," she says. "You'll be ecstatic here." While I
have no doubt that's true, it's hard for me to imagine being any more
ecstatic than I am when I travel to Hawaii. It, too, has resemblances to
paradise. And the plane flight there takes five hours less and is $600
cheaper than the jaunt to Fiji. Do I really need a more heavenly heaven on
earth than, say, Waimoku Falls Trail in Maui? I expect you're facing a
metaphorically similar situation, Aries. The question you may want to ask
yourself is this: Should you pine and aim for a state beyond perfection, or
will mere perfection serve you just as well?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): *The Washington Post* solicited ideas from
readers about innovative strategies for wasting time. I'll offer you a few in
the hope that they'll inspire you to take a major break from the Big
Pressing Issues you're obsessed with. It's high time, in my opinion, to give
yourself an enormous amount of slack . . . to forgive yourself for not
being perfect . . . to dissolve any guilt you feel for not having
accomplished all your life goals yet. In that spirit, consider the following
time-wasters: (1) Send letters to the editor about grammatical mistakes
in the classified ads. (2) Make yourself the world's top expert on a person
randomly chosen from the phone book. (3) Keep a logbook in your
bathroom to verify that the toilet bowl cleaner really does work for 1,000
flushes. (4) Set the Guinness record for time spent reading the *Guinness
Book of Records.*