lobolance

http://coilhouse.net/2010/02/inside-of-tokyos-cat-cafes/

Rent a kitty, in their home. I kidna wonder how they 'train' these felines to be so laid back. ?

antropologi.info - anthropology in the news blog

Free access for a limited time to huge anthropological articles resource. !!

which should probably ready 'dying', but I have a hard time with that even knowing it's true.

It's is good/awesome that folks don't have to hide so much, to gather in little tight groups in order to find the (rough/kinky/fetish) sex they want, without shame and with little fear. Thank ghod, isn't that why the clubs worked for acceptance (and yes some folks argue against that well)? Yes the social stuff is really different now. Things are always changing.

I'm one of the folks who find the passing of the clubs (and bars) sad, while still really appreciating the (somewhat) more accepting world (not to mention the ease of connecting through the internet, even if I'd rather meet people in person, as well as I think peer education events are more fun than commercial educational events). There were/are real down sides to leather culture as well (unkind elitism being one off the top of my head).  I sure like the whole honesty/respect/acceptance side of the culture.

http://www.bilerico.com/2009/07/unbuckling_straps_an_undoing_of_the_nyc_leather_co.php#more

This year's Pantheacon held a lot for me. I had some major insights/revelations. But this is of larger scale interest.

Margot Adler's *Drawing Down the Moon* was the first book I read about neo-paganism (I found at the con I am not alone in that! And there's a new edition, which I need to pick up). I'd never seen her at a festival before, so I was very pleased/excited to have the opportunity to hear her speak.

Her "Ecstatic Ritual" workshop was all about the songs. It was kinda cool (besides really fun to sing and learn new chants and watch people interact, etc etc), because I had noticed there is a lot less singing these days (not that I actually go to many pagan events). Back in the day (to use an Old Fogey phrase) virtually every ritual I went to included lots of chanting; it raised energy both for magickal and community spirit purposes.

Anyhow.

Adler's "How Things Have Changed" (sic) workshop was packed! I was among the people standing at the back (as was patient kingwyatt).

She talked about mainstreaming. About the explosion of the internet. About the difference between small working groups and big public festivals. About those in it for their Name, and those who lead without much fuss. About perceptions around loss of/change in values; the romantization of an older Golden Age (which never coherently existed).

Sound familiar? It exactly parallels the development of the leather culture. The contemporary time frame is about parallel as well.

I think it's the story of any alternative 'lifestyle' as it adapts into is/adapted by the culture at large. Of course, both leather and paganism have only been adapted so far (and not so far at all with leather). And there's a ton of overlap of folks into the groups as well (we've all remarked on the leather/faire/SCA/pagan overlaps).

It was really interesting!

Is it simple population pressure?

Think of all the old movies with people walking about... pass in each other on the street, tip o' the hat, and a greeting. Now, unless you are truly in the woods, we pretty much ignore each other.

The smile is a. threat reduction; I am not gonna attack you and b. social; hey there other person!

I walk a trail once or twice every day, and sometimes bicycle. Virtually every time I cross someone else's path, I debate whether to smile or otherwise acknowledge them. It's worse with other men... on seeing a woman, it is somehow more polite to offer a smile; and not be offended if she doesn't respond (I think it's the I'm-not-a-threat thing). With men... mostly we ignore each other; I think it's a power thing; you-are-not-worthy/of-my-tribe.

Except... it's less severe with older men. I theorized other men who were honestly working out (say, when I'm biking at lunch time, and encounter another rider) might be more prone to a wave (as with motorcyclists, tho there we often fall into rice rockets VERSUS cruisers), but this hasn't really proved to be true. Older men are the most likely to smile, regardless of activity. I read it as pure confidence; we-are-not-in-competition-and-hello!

The 'obvious' answer is to smile or not by one's own mood/choice... but I have to admit that receiving the blank stare from men (essentially peers; all techy guys who like exercise) feels icky... threatening my 'status'. SO we circle back to, it's not cool and/or manly to be friendly. That's pretty ridiculous. IMO.

Making others feel comfortable is part of being a gentleman.

So is it just population pressure, there's so many of us on the trail it's no different than a city street, where we ignore each other in order to accomplish anything at all? That's all I can come up with.

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I get my truck back with a circuit breaker installed on the door locks system! Should take care of my problem, which is great for the Worldcon trip. Huzzah!