I think this does a cool job of talking about the differences between intentions and expectations. (also reminds me of the differences between 'judgement' and 'discernment'... all about the connection).
http://www.queercents.com/2008/12/05/survive-thrive-during-the-holidays-intentions-are-everything/
http://www.queercents.com/2008/12/05/survive-thrive-during-the-holidays-intentions-are-everything/